So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
