can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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