There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
