nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
This is my gift to your gina
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize