What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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