for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
