i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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