She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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