He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
