all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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