In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
