i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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