If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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