I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
