I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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