He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
