i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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