Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm at about main and main street
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize