Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
