We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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