Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Two words: blizzard sex
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
