Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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