You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
