just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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