You work out of a Hotel?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
