CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
