I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
