Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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