You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
