I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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