Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Too much gin, very little bucket
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
