Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
