ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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