the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
