Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
