the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
