I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
