return my video game
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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