I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
