im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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