About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
