I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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