is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
