Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
