NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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