just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
