If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
