Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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