i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
