Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
