You work out of a Hotel?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
