So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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