I'm drive I can fine osifer
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
