OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
