Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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