New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You have to summon your inner elephant
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
