he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
