Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
