Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
